Claw Jones voiced by Dana Carvey, Claw Jones got his name by constantly streaming porn videos to his computer and masturbating. But he's know a survival expert, he goes out into the jungle a week at a time, but in "Tech Rehab", his luck runs out.
After Ms. Teets and Principal Gurniel become concerned about the hold technology has on the students, the show the parents a promotional video for Claw Jones along with his helper Tommy promising to make the kids more self-sufficient. On the threat of the kids spending time at home after being suspended, the parents agree to send them out with Claw.
After leading the kids deep into the woods of isolated Cachondo Island, Claw tells of how to survive in the wilderness and his backstory. While walking after more marshmallows for smores, Claw slips on one and hits his head on a rock. After Wadska declares him dead and Turk confirms this, Mondo and Jeena are all for a proper burial but Milan kicks him into a nearby stream. As Claw's body floats away, they hear the sound of a ringing cell phone coming from Claw's pocket and realize they just lost their only means of communication. as they watch, claws body is swept over a waterfall and gone.
After surviving the night in the wilderness, Mondo manages to build a fire to attract the boat sent to retrieve them. On the boat, the kids try to figure out how to explain the disappearance of Claw when he suddenly appears and explains that faking his own death was his standard technique but admits that being kicked down a mountainside into a stream and over a waterfall was unexpected. as Woodie points out his shattered femur sticking though his leg, Claw passes out.